all up in the knoxville hilton tonight

I’m actually back in Winston-Salem today as I try to finish up this post, which started from the road.  I played soccer in our adult soccer league (over 40s!) on Sunday, I felt good, and my conditioning has improved substantially from last fall when I picked up the sport again after a 25 year layoff.  Honestly, the whole sporty life I’m liiving now is as much for my physical health and well-being as it is an attempt to get my figure to a more pleasing body fat ratio so I look better ‘en femme’.  I’m running a delicate balance, trying to maintain enough fleshiness to be able to approximate small but apparent female breasts (with a little coaxing from spandex in the right places) for when I’m all dressed up and trying to pass, but becoming slender and toned enough to lose the double chin that has crept in with age, and general sedentariness.  Toward that end, I received my package from England last night when I arrived home from my quick road trip to Tennessee, and it contained my two (one black, one white) corset bras, size 40B.  They fit perfectly, I nearly filled out the cups as it was, although that plan comes to fruition when I receive the other geegaws I ordered – an elastic thingamabob that’s supposed to mush all my back, side, and gut fat together to make for some believable cleavage up front.  Hell, I oughta post a picture when it comes together.  The sites I’ve been reading suggest that these little silicone ‘biscuits’ secured to the bottom of the cups in the corset bras will push ^ ^ up my boob flesh to complete the effect.  We will see how that all turns out – I’m not interested in taking hormones at this time to grow my own pair, so to speak.

Anyway, the road trip to Tennessee was to attend a trial in a court in Knoxville.  I left straightaway from the football match, a bruising affair where we were pretty well clobbered, as much by the weather (30F, 20 mph wind at our backs first half, in our face second half) as by our opponents, 3-nil.  But I exited the pitch without any injury, definitely sore and exhausted, but my blood was pumping, and the adrenalin rush, coupled with one “5-hour energy”, a fresh pack of Doral Lights, and a small bowl full of homegrown lasted me to Knoxville, which was all I needed.  I will say that the nighttime drive from Winston-Salem to Knoxville is a bit hairy, especially once you leave the straightaways and gentle hills of Asheville, and keep heading west.  The spaghetti-like hairpin turns through the mountains as you near the Pigeon River and the Tennessee border are only for the bold or fearless when you’re running near 80 mph, passing transfer trucks that are confined to the right lanes, somehow squeezing through the very narrow space between their rattling frames and the double-height concrete Jersey barriers, hoping you don’t have a sudden muscle twitch, or a sneeze, or drop your goddamned burning cigarette in your lap.  But the intensity of it helps keep me focused – probably an ADD thing, honestly.

I love to get on the road, turn on some traveling music – this time, a live concert of The Black Crowes, doing some originals (great and rare live version of By Your Side, one of my favs), and some nice covers, including Up on Cripple Creek, by Little Feet. 

I will be in Staunton Thursday, Richmond Friday, Raleigh on Saturday – just a travelling trick this week.  Can’t wait to slip on a fresh pair of panties, some stockings, a camisole, and change my earring for a fun weekend of music and parties.  Ciao, bella.

Kisses – KM

Bust(ier)ed

My wife was, uncharacteristically, putting my freshly washed (mens) underwear away for me on Friday morning, as she was expecting a friend from out of town later that day, and I was already at work, when she found a pair of my black lace hipsters that I had slipped into my drawer the night before. After her friend left yesterday afternoon, she confronted me, and asked who they belonged to – she suspected me of having an affair. When I knew I’d been caught cold, I told her the truth – “they’re mine, they belong to me.” At first she thought I was lying, that I had concocted a story to cover myself if I got caught, but then we had a pretty long conversation about what I’ve been up to, my dressing, the urge to do so, the urge to go out in public dressed, makeup, it explained my earring for her, and I showed her my stash of clothes and shoes to dispel any doubts that may have lingered.

She was a criminal justice major in college, and she took a lot of classes about abnormal psychology, and the like, so she understands that people can be “hard-wired” this way from birth or a very young age, and I told her about my history with cross-dressing, which goes back to feelings I had early, early on in childhood. She is accepting, she prefers I do it in the privacy of our home, rather than be out on the street (she’s worried about someone wanting to hurt me), all in all I’m so glad I got pinched, because she now seems to understand me a little better. I told her how much I hated the deception, and apologized for not telling her long ago – she’s relieved this is all it is, I was able to do a load of intimates last night that needed washing without fear of being busted. The best part is, she sat down, and went through her jewelry stash last night, and picked out a few things for me that she doesn’t, and wouldn’t wear because they’re not her style, including some earrings, necklaces, and a pretty filigree pin!

OMG, what a relief this was for me – she understood why I kept it a secret, she was so loving, understanding and kind about this, and I told her she couldn’t know what this meant to me, how it had lifted a burden from me.

Thought I’d share, I knew there was some possibility I’d get caught at some point, despite my best efforts to hide it, but I did not imagine my wife reacting positively the way she did, and being accepting of me dressing at home just like that.

Kisses, KM’s been outed :^)