Shawn Johnson the fox, Nasty talk & Usain Bolt, please remove your hand from your pants . . .


Big props to NBC for the mighty fine closeups of foxy Shawn Johnson, 16-yr. old U.S.A. medal-winning gymnast, Beiling 2008 – right before her gold medal awarded as she awaited the anointing.

What a beauty, she has lovely green eyes, wonderful teeth in a radiant smile, and priceless nose-freckles.  She could launch a thousand cute little teeny tiny ships.  Not a criticism, just an observation, as I once heard Chris Robinson say when I saw him with The Black Crowes back in ’05, when they were touring around with that nutjob Marc Ford.  That dude, while he has the raunchysmoothest Les Paul tone, one of the best I’ve ever heard – he wrote the guitar riffs on a lot of my favorites, earlier Crowes —  has got to be one hardass muthafucka to get along wid on the road, my brethren, cuz I think he done joined, quit, grudgingly returned (apparently), and got thrown out on his ass from that bunch, oh seems like about 4 times.  But I digress.

I must confess my ultimate olympian probably is Nastia Liuken’s overall package, way huge that she’s closer to legal drinking age, plus the feisty Russian heritage.  Ouch.  Seriously, such a talented, artistic, graceful, and beautiful woman.  I feel privileged to have been able to see her performances – yes that good.

And who could have known that I would have a thing for the women’s Javelin athletes.  You need to check out NBC’s online replay coverage of that if you — like me — dig the tall, beautiful, graceful, super-athetic women.  Hey ladies, you all are fantastic to me.  I’d love to meet you in Amsterdam sometime – ask them for The Pimpdaddy :^)

Usain Bolt made me proud again with gold and a new world record in the beautifully-run Men’s 200M Final (yeah man, you got a right to celebrate that – you worked it all the way home, baby, take all the network time you need) — and rounding out ‘Les Triplez’ with dittoes in the Men’s 4×100 Relay in Track & Field.  I was profoundly disappointed in the just-slightly-less-than-glorious gold medal and world record run in the Men’s 100M Final.  Usain — can I help you understand the truth, my brother?  Truth-telling is one of my favorite inventions of man ever – so many people prefer to live in a delusional state that the truth when they hear it is jarring, and unsettling, and so seems cruel and avoided at all cost to most.  Let me tell you some truth, Usain.

The ONLY thought simultaneously on everyone’s mind at the end of the 2008 Beijing Games Men’s 100M dash Final — and when I say everyone, I mean, about 3 Billion people absolutely EVERYWHERE, whither me in my den; or people all around the globe watching it in groups of 50 crammed into a hot, cramped garment assembly line in Vietnam; or in the foreman’s office in a cattle rendering plant in Cambodia; or a gang of youths in a shack in LIberia on the still-working guts (no case remains) of a 40-year-old Sony B&W TV with big aluminum foil antennae that they’re running on purloined electricity that, along with the running water, they pipe in from the grocery ‘cross the street — was, quoting us all, “My God, man, a 9.69 second 100M?  That’s unbelievable . . . what might you have run if you weren’t playing with your dick the last 20 metres?”  So, ’nuff said on that my man.  I can’t tell you anything more anyway: evidence your amazing run in the 200M and the 4×100 relay.  You know that the performance is everything, and that you may not get to go ’round this ride but once.  You know that probably 100,000,000 of us out here would love to be standing in your shoes, son, so you give it your all, your ALL.

But, useless jawboning, is this.  Shame is something that is rapidly being lost on those in this swiftly devolving country of my generation, so we shall be the first generation of Americans not to pass along shame to our children.  Goddamn Reagan and that dreadful Ollie North, Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, O.J., John and Patsy Ramsey, Michael Jackson, W-Cheney-Rumsfeld-Powell-Rice, all got together and outlawed shame, thus destroying its utility as a flag at the starting-line of acceptable, civilized behavior by members of the human race.  Future generations of Americans will not have a conception of it, and it will have completely lost its usefulness and meaning to us.  The rest of the world will understand and continue to apply shame to their children, who will react with appropriate humility and reform, and the rest of the world will become a more hospitable place, whilst people in the USA will view shame as a foreign, even alien concept, like Falun Gong is to most today — isn’t that interesting?  Don’t give me the Catholics and the Sons of Abraham, they’ve been acting like complete pansies since the accursed Reagan years, treating their children with kid gloves and not criticizing them, or humiliating them any more — everybody’s so civilized here in the USA.  It no longer motivates individual behavior to reform or conform or strive for norms.

Kisses, KM. We are all of us not who we at first seem, there’s always more here than meets the eye.

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